Words

what it feels like

I’m sitting here and my mind is racing and i cant get over how OK i must look from the outside. I feel shaky and i have this pain like a throbbing  burning pain from my throat to my stomach, my sinuses hurt, and i just feel heat radiating off of me. Surprisingly my heart rate is rather normal, but i feel as though i could pass out. I hate this, my anxiety leads me to this horrid depression and it just comes in waves, lasting minutes and hours. My body, my mind, hate me. Sometimes i convince myself I’m not pretty, or that I’m not good enough, today i have convinced myself that my husband is not happy with me. I don’t know how to bring this up to him so he can help me and I’m petrified he might just assume I’m looking for attention and judge me.

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